Once again MA is getting the best of me.Little More History Part 4.
After MA returned home with his family I was prepared. I was ready to end things. They never ended. They didn't even really cool that much. Maybe a little sexually, but we chatted more then ever.
October 2005 my husband leaves town on a hunting trip. His wife was suppose to go away as well, but she became sick and couldn't travel. We had made many plans for when they would be gone we had to cancel them. MA made it up to me, it was a Saturday evening, he rented a room and surprised me with it. He told his wife he was going out with friends for drinks. We spent hours that night drinking every inch of each other in. I will never forget laying back in his arms and the music video Beautiful by James Blunt came on. It was the first time either one of us had heard it. It seem to really hit home that night. That is night I will never forget.
That month the world as I knew it fell apart. My oldest child told my husband she thought I was having an affair. I can't remember exactly how it all came about. He had asked her some questions about me, and it just went from there. He checked out every nook and cranny in the computer and found that I had been using a yahoo mail account. He completely lost it that day. I was at work. He packed a bunch of my clothes in a garbage bag and dropped them down at my work. He had the locks changed and told me I was never to return home. I begged and pleaded for hours, he finally agreed to pick me up after work to talk, but made it very clear I was not to return home. I begged and pleaded some more. After many long hours parked in our vehicle he agreed to let me come home. There were a few conditions though. First I had to give him head, right there and then, and I had to swallow. Which I NEVER do, I can't. Second I had to sit down with our children and basically tell them that I am a whore and I had wrecked our family. Things would never be the same because of me.
My husband and I attended counselling and things seem to get back on track a bit. I was a bit messed up and became a lot more cautious, but I continued my relationship with MA.
7 comments:
Just recently wandered over here through BJ's blog. I am very intrigued by your story. It is very compelling, and you are quite a good writer.
Hi Andy ... I think this proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that we (guys)are ruled by our small heads, not the ones on our shoulders. I cannot understand any guy saying that he'll take somebody back if they blow him and swallow. Would a woman say ... I'll take you back if you fuck me and last longer than 10 minutes? I doubt. We are a pathetic lot.
Your husband made some pretty unfair demands on you despite your behavior. How did you handle setting down with your children and telling them about the situation? I hope you stood up to your husband and refused to call yourself a whore in front of your children.
You know I think a lot of people focus on the pain that the offended spouse is feeling, but reading your blog is shedding light on the pain that is felt all around when an affair happens.
Trueself: Thank you very much, I feel the same about your blog.
George: I agree with you, although he was hurt and out to hurt me back. In the end we split up because he just kept wanting to hurt me. Even now.
Anony: We both sat down with the girls that night. He did all the talking I sat there with my head down. I was sad, hurt, angry and very ashamed. My oldest daughter had a lot of hate towards me and MA. I let her be angry with me. I never defended myself until just recently. She has since then became friends with MA, and her and I are closer then ever.
yeah...Andy I've been through some of this. I do like reading your account of it all.
One thing I will say is that there was no way to avoid what was going on. The die had been cast. There was no need to find the awkward time for The Talk.
Jerrster: Thanks I do enjoy your comments and input.
BJ: You are right the die had been cast. The talk was horrible. I had a lot of issues with it. I just don't think you should ever get your children involved in your marriage that way. I have learned a lot from all of this.
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