We met but once as though by chance, we didn't date, or did we dance.
We looked into each other's eyes
without deception or disguise.
A silent message passed between
your hungry heart was plainly seen.
You saw desire I could not hide,
you looked at me and saw inside.
How could a glance have said so much,
and cause a chill without a touch?
What was that chemistry that night,
that promised what we felt was right?
What satisfaction we'd have missed,
If we had not reached out and kissed.
I do not know if it was you,
or was it I who said, "Let's do."
But on that night our souls were bare
as surely as our bodies there.
Our bodies moved in harmony,
I couldn't tell the you from me.
And locked in passion as we were,
my sense of time began to blur.
I must have known you from before,
how else could you have reached my core?
In life perhaps before this one
what had we shared? What had we done?
With what I felt, emotions vast,
I must have loved you in the past.
But now we go our separate ways,
to different lives throughout our days.
I keep you though within my dreams,
Eternal soul mate, so it seems.
I sent this to MA last spring. Things seemed so perfect between us. The new year seemed to bring new love.
In January and February MH was away for work. MA and I went back to spending hours together. His wife was out of town in January we once again shared a room for a couple of days. He told me how much he cherished me and how much he loved me.
At the end of February MH trying to still mend our broken marriage took me on a nice tropical holiday. MA and I said our good byes not sure what the future would hold. The holiday was nice, I realized then that I had lost any love I had for MH. The entire time I was away I spent thinking of MA. I even managed a phone call and a few emails.
When I returned in March MA and I seemed to have an even stronger bond, if that is even possible. The day I returned home I ran down to see him the second time allowed. We only had a quick moment to look at each other and touch quickly. When I returned home this was waiting in my email inbox.....
Hey never question my love for you because you must have felt it today. I sure felt the love you have for me from that one second hug and kiss. Yes you are beautiful and very sexy and I love you and that will never end till the day I die. Thank You for coming into my world that was so lonely and dark. I look forward to your naked body wrapped around me. I MISS YOU MORE THAN EVER TOO. XOXOXOXO
After that day I received many more emails from him protesting this great love he had for me. I don't understand where that got lost. He has not told me he loves me in 3 months. Not since the day he told me he didn't know how to love or what love is. I stayed at his house again last night. I tried remembering back to this day. I tried to see if I could feel the difference. I don't understand what changed. Was it all a lie???
8 comments:
Honey.
He doesn't know what he wants. My husband has done this to me off and on, and I've done it back...and I can honestly say, the nature of the relationship that he and I have is just, ugly. Unhealthy. Scary. Explosive. And I don't know how to love anyone any better than he does. That includes my affairs.
The love of my life used to email me every day with words of love and longing. Now I'm lucky to get a few brief sentences that have no emotion in them at all. I too wonder what happened until I see him and then it feels totally different. When I see him it feels like he does care and more often than not its not in a sexual situation. Unfortunately we get to see each other very rarely. Is it worth hanging on, I ask myself this question at least hourly EVERY day. Was it all a lie? He's the only one that will ever know the true answer there Andy.
I feel for you, I really do.
Could it be that the honeymoon is over? As I am sure you saw in your marriage we tend to end up taking each other for granted, so the little kisses and hugs, the light touch, the I love yous taper off. It doesn't mean he no longer loves you ... face it Andy ... there aren't a lot of guys, in my opinion, who are very comfortable talking about emotions once the first blush has worn off. It's really horrible to love somebody and not feel that you are getting it back. And women place a lot more importance that men do.
Your poem is beautiful.
Anony: There has to be a simpler way, doesn't there???
Angel: For the first two years he told me he loved me at the end of all his email, now he says chat with you later... I don't know where or how we got lost. I keep holding on, just incase it comes back.
George: I think in away we have become comfortable with the way things have become. I really do think there is more to it then that. I am afraid to ask, I am afraid of the answers I will get. So I guess for now I suffer in silence... or pain you with it.... hehehe.....
I have no advice...which I'm sure is fine with you.I am reading though.
Jerrster: What no advice?? Just kidding. Thanks for stopping by. Have a good day.
Andy I've been here. I only know about the hurt. You got that part already.
What does your gut tell you? I have no idea if it's a lie or not but your tummy does.
Post a Comment