Things do not change; we change.
I have good news and bad news. I managed to stay away last night. Although this morning I gave into the temptation. It was 3 hours of complete bliss. As always the sex was out of this world. That man just amazes me. I got that fix. I have been high all day. My body has released all tension and stress.
I have to admit it was different for me today. I had a totally different outlook on it. I have distanced myself. I was disconnected. The sex was just as good, it was just way easier to walk away from him today. There was no prolonged kiss at the door. Just a short and sweet "it was fun, see ya" from me, a smile from him. There was no plan for a future get together. I am going to assume that there won't be.
He went to see the counselor today. The one that has discouraged us from our past relationship. The one that broke my confidence. The one I won't see again. He wasn't too forth coming with the details of the session in his email. I don't even care to ask. In a way I want to keep my head up my ass it is easier that way.
I have good news and bad news. I managed to stay away last night. Although this morning I gave into the temptation. It was 3 hours of complete bliss. As always the sex was out of this world. That man just amazes me. I got that fix. I have been high all day. My body has released all tension and stress.
I have to admit it was different for me today. I had a totally different outlook on it. I have distanced myself. I was disconnected. The sex was just as good, it was just way easier to walk away from him today. There was no prolonged kiss at the door. Just a short and sweet "it was fun, see ya" from me, a smile from him. There was no plan for a future get together. I am going to assume that there won't be.
He went to see the counselor today. The one that has discouraged us from our past relationship. The one that broke my confidence. The one I won't see again. He wasn't too forth coming with the details of the session in his email. I don't even care to ask. In a way I want to keep my head up my ass it is easier that way.
8 comments:
The distancing is a sign that you are beginning to let go...it was that way at the end with D...by the time it was all said and done..I was just fine...he was the one left with all the emotion. This isn't going to happen overnight..he has been a very very important part of your life for a long time. Don't be too hard on yourself, you did what you needed to do. Hugs!
don't be hard on yourself.....who we are in relation to others is complex. I hope that this journey, while it won't likely be easy, has the least amount of pain.
An interesting relationship. Take care. You are still very connected.
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Hello. And Bye.
Bye Rock
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