Yesterday Another Great, But Bad Morning.

Wow I made it five days before once again giving into that great force. Another morning meeting. It was amazing. Although I really screwed up this time. I felt that rush of feelings again. I don't know what it was. Or why now, I do know better. I tried to distance myself during, but it just wasn't working. I left his house feeling empty, once again wanting more.

The sex was very erotic. It lasted well over two hours. We did everything in every position. Laying, sitting, me on top, him on top, behind, on the side. Cuming again again. Why can't I just find that damn strength. If I am going to continue to have no will power, then at least toughen up a bit.

If you have it, you don't want it.
If you want it, you don't have it.
If you have it, you want more of it.
If you had more of it, you don't want less of it.
You need it to get it.
And you certainly need it to get more of it.

But, if you don't already have it to begin with,
You can't get any of it to get started with.
Which means you really have no idea how to get it in the first place.
Do you?

Once again feeling very frustrated with myself. I need to go back and reread some of those emails. I need to focus on the time he won't make for me. How I am nothing to him. Focus girl, Focus.....