Love is life. And if you miss love,
you miss life.
Andy, I am so sorry for breaking Your heart....I know how it feels, I hate it....I ache everyday no matter how busy I am....It has been very challenging for me as well....I am going to open up my heart to You, I am going to trust You that You will never tell anyone......Here it goes my Friend......You should know by now that I do put this big mask as well but inside I am hurting just as much as You are....I know it will be hard for You to believe but it's true.....Andy I think about You 24/7 I check my mail dozens of times to see if You e-mailed, see how you are doing....I misss the friendship we had, the closeness, the laughs, the chats....I could chat with You for hours and not want to hang up....I could stare at your beautiful smile for hours and that my friend would have made my day....I remember many times when you fell asleep at my house I would just lay there and watch You sleep...You looked so beautiful and at peace....I miss that as well....I miss the touching, the kissing, OMG I miss that happy smile of Yours....I know I could have had life made with You, I could never question that....I think the biggest mistake was the way we cheated and lied to each other, that my friend is a pain that still hurts very deep.....We are both at fault, we took each other for granted a lot.....I honestly did not really know what I had with You till You moved on.....I will never forget last July it was the most painful time of OUR lives....I hated every second....I know You felt the same, I realized that now...I honestly can tell You I am not over You, I am far from it.....I don't know when the pain is going to go away.....Somedays are worst than others but I am learning to cope I have no choice but it still hurts.....I don't want to hurt Laura or Patrick anymore, it's our fault for making the decisions we made.....They don't have to pay for our mistakes and selfishness...I wish You could tap into my brain and heart You would learn that the guy You were with does have a big heart, does fall in love, does have a lot of love to offer, I would have done anything for You and still would...We were not just an affair, the feelings were there it was all very real.
